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The easy-way-to-end-up-with-a-police-visit classic:
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Plan B pill
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Giant “9” balloon
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Vodka.
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Sodium Hydroxide, hacksaw, large trash can
Car battery
Jumper cables
Duct tape
If you get a bonus then bleach, lye, or tarp rounds it out. Have fun talking to the local police!
Chlorine, ammonia and a large plastic tub
How to end up on a watchlist:
Pressure cooker, nails, prepaid phone
Casio F-91W watch, soldering iron, electronics wire.
You’re going to hang up balloons and cook a homemade meal for your SO on their birthday, and surprise them with a new phone
Toaster, bathtub plug, pop tarts
As a former cashier (grocery store not walmart admittedly, but I doubt things are that different), I dont think weird uses for the items are the way to go, the cashier is barely even going to notice or care what you’re buying. what I bring to freak out the cashier, are some item that needs ID to buy, some big heavy item with the barcode removed so that it will take a bunch of lifting and turning in a hopeless effort to find it before someone eventually has to go find another one and bring it over, and a propane refill if walmart does those (at my grocery store the process to go find a full one was a pain, especially in the winter since they were outside). Further, I try to buy these items with the help of a ton of expired and unexpired coupons mixed together, several gift cards, and a stubborn half-deaf old person who wont take no for an answer.
bleach, ammonia based cleaner, mixing container.
uh oh, accidental chloramine gas bomb
reminder people, do NOT mix bleach with ammonia based cleaners to “speed up cleaning”. youll accidentally speed up life
Why doesn’t this happen when I piss in bleach
Brother if you’re pissing straight ammonia you’ve got other problems. Your body specifically coverts ammonia to urea because it’s toxic to you and it’s usually bacteria that converts it back.
Mop, wire coat hanger, pregnancy test.
Whiskey, hammer, baby rattle.
You’re going to surprise some friends’ newborn with a custom baby rattle made from an empty whiskey bottle and the handle of a hammer. Very chique
Gun, ammunition, balaclava
Gun ammunition, baklava
Hmmm, a baklava gun.
Now I want some of that sweet full-auto pastry goodness.
Webcam, cactus and KY
You can’t buy Kentucky at Walmart.
Oh, I thought they sold it by the Florida ounce
Gun, bleach, get well card.
I’m very disappointed. I couldn’t find any cardboard tubes at my local Walmart.
Anyway:
- Cardboard tube, at least 3” in diameter
- Gerbil food
- Candlesticks
Check in the party section, over by the office supplies. Wrapping paper makes great cardboard tubes.
Source: I, uh… saw it in a movie, yeah
