so this one girl, i’ll call her ella (19f) is transphobic, homophobic
she lashes out a lot, exaggerates things, and cannot read social cues. however, she has autism and adhd and is mentally much younger.
she also gets mad when i call a trans man “he” and she says “SHE’S A GIRL EVEN THO SHE LOOKS LIKE A MAN LOL”
she says she got her views from her parents and refuses to change because “it’s the way i am”. for someone who was mentally 19, I’d cut contact, but she’s mentally a lot younger.
Being “mentally much younger” is not an excuse to be an asshole. I’ve personally known five and six year olds who understand quite well that some people love and marry people the same gender as themselves, and also accept being corrected on whether someone is “he,” “she,” or even “they.”
Bigotry isn’t natural, it’s learned behavior you can accept and reinforce through your responses to her, attempt to correct, or simply judge her by and decide whether or not to continue involving her in your life.
(If Ella isn’t capable of matching the mental age of a toddler, the help she needs is probably beyond your ability or responsibility to provide.)