edit: bamboo@lemmy.blahaj.zone found it after I forgot to save the link: https://answers.microsoft.com/en-us/windows/forum/all/unable-to-install-updates-unless-battery-is/99bb073a-948e-4ccf-b14f-46e192fac457
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The entire thread is hilarious.
“I had to remove my laptop’s battery, now Windows won’t update.”
“Are you using a laptop or desktop?”
“I said I am using a laptop without a battery.”
“Please share a screenshot of your device manager, so I can make sure whether or not you are using a laptop or desktop.”
“Fine.” (Posts screenshot)
“According to your screenshot, you are using a laptop, and it has a battery in it. Please charge the battery to 40%.”
“That’s it. I’m using Linux.”
Found the post on the forums. The screenshot omits the comment from Craig who said “I ended up wiping windows and installing Ubuntu instead”.
I found this reply helpful too, and so should you.
I saw a great one yesterday.
Question: Help, I can’t boot, here’s the error code. I’m stuck in a loop and can’t get into windows.
Answer: Open Microsoft explorer, navigate to…
Why is Microsoft’s support so completely and utterly useless, anyway? Do they purposely hire people who don’t understand how computers work for their support team? They almost always reply with a “solution” that has absolutely nothing to do with the issue at hand. Why are they so bad at their jobs?
Because they’re not Microsoft support. Microsoft Answers is a user forum and the “MVPs” there providing “support” are at best volunteers and at worst bots.
My favorite one was an issue with a device not showing up when plugged in, and their solution is to click on it and reinstall drivers
I’m John from Microsoft and I have over 25 years of experience.
Please update your drivers and run run sfc /scannow.
I hope that helps,
John
That’s right, linux is terrible since you have to use terminal. Microsoft doesn’t have terrible things like terminal. Just copy paste these commands into run.
Into Cmd, super commandline or super commandline 2?
Or then you do find an article that helps but its a registry edit.
With an alternative method involving a page in settings that only existed between may 2015 and feb 2016.
The Microsoft support forums are on a whole level of their own, when it comes to being useless.
sfc /scannowand the troubleshooting button in the settings do fuck all, and compared to the usual systemd journal, the event log rarely gives you any useful information whatsoever- help my mouse does not work
- did you try reinstalling windows?- did you try updating to Windows 11, enabling copilot and microsoft drive automatic upload?
Honestly a month ago me and my friend were looking at microsoft forums. One of which was somebody asking why tiktok was preinstalled in windows 11. Forum admin replied that it was bloat from a manufacturer of the hardware. It was a homebuilt computer and fresh copy of windows 11 home.
28 more people said windows 11 did this by default, the admin eventually realized it was not accidental or a fluke. Which he previously eluded to.
Shows the current state of windows 11
They should’ve told them to run sfc /scannow
The most pissing thing is that the Microsoft “support” forum is always the top search result. Sometimes it occupies 5 or more of the top search results.
…but I haven’t had to deal with that since I switched to Linux last year, so…yay!
Even more infuriating are those messages marked [FIXED] when the freaking post had a negative response or no response at all from the user.
Those forums should be full of endless posts marked [PENDING] or [EXPIRED].Ask about a specific error code on a windows forum: unhelpful boilerplate nonsense.
Ask about the vaguest symptoms of a recurring problem on a linux forum: a neckbeard wizard will show up and have you type 30 cryptic commands in your terminal and everything will be fixed.
Does it solve whatever Windows problem they were having?
No? Then it is not helpful.
It is like asking for help to fix a hole in your pants, and someone replies with “just buy a skirt”.
I’ve replied to someone having a problem with Linux to just install Windows. It is the exact same useless vibe.
Well it is more like your ceiling is leaking from the apartment above and your landlord ain’t doing shit. Installing Linux would be like moving out to another apartment or home. Even if it doesn’t fix the leak the problem is now gone for you.
