Your way of doing things is now how things must be done. Extra points for petty and minor stuff.
Your wasd seems to match the most popular way, Ctrl is def not normal lol
Smacking lips as filler for speech is considered rude, irritating, and condescending.
Everyone must be nice to bugs now. If you’re not I’ll personally command a swarm of wasps at you.
Fork in the strong hand, knife in the other.
Isn’t that how everyone does it?!
Using a knife and fork: knife in the left hand.
Using a knife only: right hand.
Says a man with 9 fingers
- Anything more than hushed conversation is banned on public transit (exceptions for children too little to be able to control it, developmentally disabled, etc.). You may answer the phone, quietly, to tell the person you cannot talk right this second and will phone them back from the next station
- Everywhere is accessible to the blind, those in wheelchairs, on crutches, etc.
- You will grow some of your own food as your space allows. If you have a tiny flat with one window? Grow some herbs or chives or something? Gotta big lawn? Now you have a garden. Those with small children will be left some room for them to play.
- Everyone wanting a driving license must drive a giant, slow truck and a small motorbike for several weeks. The tests everywhere in the US get harder and more demanding.
- You must use public transport in any case it is possible and practical (i.e I don’t expect you to try to take your haul from Ikea back on a train).
- You will generally only eat two meals a day and no more gluten (sorry; I didn’t want to inflict this on you nor did I want the gluten restriction on myself, but this is the only way my body works somewhat properly).
- Your mind’s eye and any audible inner monologue are now gone. It’s fine; enjoy the imagination and peace.
- You must live somewhere on roughly the other side of the planet from where you grew up (again, sorry to force you)
- You must live in at least one foreign country for no less than 3 months outside of a foreigner community and learn the language and culture (not at all sorry about this one).
- You must be in pain a lot of the time without docs being able to find anything useful. You must also have anxiety, ADHD, probable ASD, and overthink many things.
I tried to answer the actual question rather than how I think things should be. I’m sure I’m missing something about my life. I guess you’d all have to work as software engineers who run a small farm most of the year, strictly speaking.
I was with you until 7 and 10. No mind’s eye & inner monologue means limiting the imagination to a crawl. It would be peaceful though! Meditation & Imagination would be inverse in this Universe. Poetic.
No timezones. Only UTC or Zulu time. Also no daylight savings, it’s just fucking stupid.
That really kinda shifts a problem. I can generally guess that at 10am whateverTime a business is going to be open or people are going to be awake to time my communications. This adds a step of having to look up … I guess the current daylight hours and/or normal business hours first? Who would maintain such a database?
No it doesn’t only for the short term after conversion. I’m UTC -7. So instead of waking up at 0700 I wake up at 1400. The only thing that changes is the time on the clock. The sun still rises and sets as it usually does. If a business usually opens at 1000, now they open at 1700. So what? The business’ hours are still consistent day to day
Not to mention this is how almost everything operates in the backend anyway. The military, logistic companies, aviation all do it but normal people can’t figure it out because they need their alarm clock to have the little am or pm to indicate if it’s morning or night
Same people who’s maintaining it today. We need to look up business hours anyway on top of looking up time zones. E.g. business hours in Denmark is usually 8-16 while in UK it is usually 9-17. Here there’s furthermore differences at the usual company. IMO you’re inconsiderate if you start planning meetings without taking the business hours of the recipients into account (which means all our UK enployess are inconsiderate jerks on this topic, calling me in for meetings until 18:00…)
So instead of looking up the time zone difference and the cultural business hours of a company in Australia, I can just see that they open after my lunch.
Wrong: cleaning ass only with toiler paper.
Right: Using a bidet after pooping.
Your asses will thank me.
Top tier: use both
Roommates toothbrush.
True that. Best to nuke it from orbit, just to be sure.
Secret sauce: Do the drying with the hair dryer on mid heat.
I like to use an old-school badger hair shaving brush.
I’ve read somewhere that blowing air in a vagina is super dangerous so I’m a little bit hesitant to put a blow dryer near my asshole but it does sound… Oddly comfortable
Blowing directly into, yes; however, if it’s an indirect yet concentrated breeze isn’t it moreso increasing the odds for vaginal flatulence?
Personally I wouldn’t mind a queef or two if it meant a guarantee that my butt’s clean lmao
I don’t have a hair dryer but some bidets do have a dry setting that blows hot air
I can imagine it being comfortable once but then I’m imagining dry chapped skin where you least want it
No one has any pubes any more.
Fucking thank you
pulling apart the bacon piece by piece to fry it.
listen, you can just stick the whole brick of it into the pan, the heat from the skillet makes the bacon slices separate. you can cook the whole thing at once.
What is everyone doing wrong?
Failing to even try to understand the fact that nuance touches everything in between the margins of the less complicated and oft-overused black-and-white polarization of damn near everything under the sun.
Bananas are only be opened from the seed side. Heretics who open the stem side will be mummified in banana strings after being purged so that they will be reminded of their hubris eternally.
what about those of us who snap them in half?
You already know you’re a freak. Let that flag fly brother.
I can’t say it without getting my comment removed for inciting violence.
Pretty much. Only a more broad scale.
Everyone picks up a new random hobby every few months, spirals into self hatred about not being amazing at it with no practice or research, and adds another box of crap to the closet.
No change for me
I guess everyone is a lefty now.
All you authors, columnists, and other motherfuckers not using the Oxford comma are now in big trouble.
This could’ve been a delightful meta joke, and I was disappointed to see that it wasn’t.
