As others have mentioned you may be asexual, grey-ace or demi-sexual. However, I would like to mention a few things about masculine gender roles and their effect on Men. So you may be an allosexual but just not conform to the gendered expectations about masculinity and sex. I am allosexual and I find that a portion of the gendered expectations about sex don’t fit me as well.

See below quote from “The Will to Change” by bell hooks which I think does a good job of laying out the dominant cultural narrative around the expectations men have around sex:

In actuality, men come to sex hoping that it will provide them with all the emotional satisfaction that would come from love. Most men think that sex will provide them with a sense of being alive, connected, that sex will offer closeness, intimacy, pleasure. And more often than not sex simply does not deliver the goods. This fact does not lead men to cease obsessing about sex; it intensifies their lust and their longing.

As mentioned above the dominant cultural narrative shows the Sex should provide all emotional, affection and closeness from sex and sex alone. This is not true for most men and if you feel the same way it might make you feel wrong about either your sexuality or masculinity. I would recommend reading The Will to Change to better understand the expectations about masculinity and its role in sex.

I also always recommend Hot and Unbothered to better understand what you may want to have from sex and what sexual acts are you comfortable with and what you are not. Its a wonderful book.

I also recommend The New Bottoming Book and The New Topping Book by Dossie Eaton and Janet Hardy. These are BDSM book which I know you said you were not interested in but I recommend people take a look. They are less how to guides but give good overviews about what to expect and what emotions people can enjoy and invoke from this kind of play. It is helpful to understand what emotions, sensations and needs people can derive from sex to better understand what you might want and how to ask for it. The asking for what you want is scary and difficult even if its for something simple like more kissing and kinksters are the communication and consent experts. You may never ask to be tied down and spanked silly, it makes asking other asks seem easier. Also to note that there are a large number of asexuals interested in kink so don’t feel like it is not for you if you do identify on the ace spectrum.

Well if you host it people can join.

Two types of people: White men and DEI hires…

I wonder if there should be a more generic pop-culture discussion thread to get it started. I know I enjoy a few aspects of pop-culture and would like to discuss. If you start it people will join