I have inattentive type adhd as well, and was also diagnosed as an adult. I think It’s normal to feel frustrated/disheartened as you grapple with it. I also recently mentioned to someone that I think I may have an emotional range that’s narrower than typical.

My wife, doctor, occupational therapist (I’m on short term disability because my I developed an anxiety problem that was causing me to spiral), and lawyer (I was told there isn’t a job for me to come back to when I’m better) all delicately danced around the prospect of depression/suidality. I’m lucky that I have some great things in my life that make it easy to tackle those questions head on.

Talk to a specialist.

The only things i look for in a shoe are small pieces of gravel that sometimes get in there.

But seriously: comfort/ support, and a big 'Ole loop on the back to make them easy to pull on.