Yeah so people tried to kill me before most people even knew what a trans person was. I uh, don’t think some people figuring out their identity was to blame for that ya know?

You seem really transphobic, and I really think you should reflect on that. Like you’re straight up blaming transgender people for queer oppression but that is predicated on the idea of being going back to behaviours they engaged in long before people even discussed trans people. So clearly the drive to harm queer people doesn’t require pronouns to surface yeah?

I am going to block you now because I think you are an odious and horrible person.

You are a dickhead who prefers to hang out in spaces where being a dickhead to people is welcome. That isn’t the case at blahaj, there’s no reason for you to speak there. You can still read it, and if you want to participate in that culture then you can make a new account and just follow their rules and norms on that account, then be a dickhead about queer people on SJW or whatever with all the little arseholes that will give you a gold star for being “one of the cool queers”

Being rude and belittling people’s concerns, calling people that disagree with you little soft children who have never known hardship, saying that people’s concerns are less valid than yours, blaming trans kids figuring themselves out for the hatred we receive. All of that if being a complete dickhead and a bigot.

Look I’m a 35 year old queer, I have been beaten within an inch of my life and left to die in a gutter, I have lived through cops murdering us for fun and being unable to hold hands in public to now. Hell my government made me get steralised to recognise my gender and gay panic was only removed from the books as a valid legal defense for murder in like the last decade.

I know that looking at some of the online discourse can seem a little strange or trivial, but that’s also what straights have been doing to us for centuries about literally all of our concerns. You don’t know what other people are going through, you don’t get to be the judge of what matters to them, and even if you think someone is being more sensitive than is warranted THEY HAVE TOLD YOU THAT THIS MATTERS TO THEM AND THAT IS TRUE. Regardless of what you feel about it, IT HURTS THEM. Why do you want to hurt people?

There is no line of acceptable behaviour that will make you welcome among the broader straight culture. Don’t beat up on comrades, and if you can’t tolerate that kind of culture then being banned from blahaj is doing you a favour because that is the culture there.

Just… log off and check your head mate.

I find these issues so tiring. Lemmy is a project run by volunteers, usually with specific goals in mind.

While I think that more democratic means of administering instances would be good I also can’t really see how to implement them and if someone is volunteering to run a server then criticising the precise way they do it, especially when moderator actions are public, seem a bit rich.

Different servers have different goal, some are trying to be public squares like this one, where more voices are welcome than not even to the detriment of some people. Others are trying to be safe cozy spaces, or friend clubs or whatever and someone just not liking your vibe is a fine reason to pre-emptively close the door in your face.

When someone does so they’re not even restricting your ability to see things, and usually not even making an account on their instance. You can literally run a bot to mirror everything over to your own version of a community if you don’t like the way they administer theirs. All they are doing is restricting your ability to send messages to their userbase under that particular account. Blahaj is going for a certain vibe, it’s not a vibe I want so I’m not their and I don’t really use their communities but it’s very clearly communicated to the userbase and behaviour like this is done specifically so users that feel vulnerable have a place to be gay with like zero confrontation about the particular way they want to be.

So who cares?

The uh scare quotes aren’t really helping your case. Being queer doesn’t mean you automatically understand the seriousness of other queer people’s concerns and it also doesn’t mean you’re free of bigotry.

Consider like lgbt erasure from official histories, many people scoffed at concerns like this and thought it was hysterical pearl clutching to make a big deal about whether or not someone’s sexuality was mentioned or whatever. Others will tell you it literally saved their lives knowing that people like them existed in the past.

I don’t think it’s that hard to just be kind, and if you can’t be kind be funny and then block them and move on :P