Imagine aliens that don’t have anything like trees.
They’d be so fucking jealous.
Imagine being born on a world made of just mostly slimy grasslands, with bare rock and deserts and a shallow sea full of parasites. And the atmosphere is awful, so running a marathon would be like physically impossible. Actually, besides the dry parts, that kinda sounds like Florida… At least Florida has trees, though.
I come from outer space: Your grass is too dry, lacks life and squishiness. Your rocks are sharp and uneven and stupidly confusing. Your sea is too deep, too empty (damn scary) and it lacks nutrients. What even is the point of running marathons? Cultural quirk to want to move that fast. The Trees are nice though, gotta leave you that.
The trees are damn nice.
At least Florida has trees, though.
For now
Well, yeah, because we can’t make that yet. If you describe anything in nature we can’t make with technology as technology then it sounds like science fiction. That’s just tautological!
Replace “machines” with “organisms”.
Life in all its forms is pretty damn amazing. At work while I’m working on my computer shit I am fortunately able to look out the windows at the trees, the birds, the deer, and whatever else wanders by. And even at home we have a bunch of animals.
So much amazing stuff just gets ignored by so many people. That goes for pretty much the entire universe though, not just trees.
This time of year the flowers and birds are quite active.
Is there a term for this kind of sci-fi esque reframing of what we’d otherwise think of as “normal” to highlight how ridiculously cool or weird something is?
Thinking along the lines of Body Ritual Among The Nacirema
I found the noir one
I closed my eyes as I walked down the ramp, trying to shed the stress that’s been building. Routine etched into my body, I’m at one with the world. The curb arrives a step too soon and my whole body clenches, my eyes snap open. I noticed a Cadillac turning around, it’s diesel engine revving. I slowed and watched. He edges backwards and forwards too many times. The smell of gas overpowered the almost ever present mildew and moisture. My attention turned to the door. I raised my key to the lock, the resistance familiar and the clicking cathartic. An empty hallway, and another door. A satisfying click. A room. I turn the lights off. The other hallway is as lifeless as the first. I check each door, locked. One washroom clear, the next, spotless. I leave through the door I entered, diesel lingering in the air. I kept my eyes open for the walk up the ramp. I passed two women in a hushed conversation, a quick glance at my uniform and I’m quickly forgotten. The fleeting attention stirs me, a reminder of my solitude. I turn the corner, a gust of icy wind bites into my face and polyurethane coated Kevlar gloves. They aren’t right for the weather, being made to handle plate glass and sheet steel. Perfect for grabbing a blade, function over comfort. My eyes scan the lot, probing each corner. Empty. I reach where I began, my least favorite part. Crouching down, vulnerable, a bittersweet click unlocks this door, the latch along the bottom. Exposed to dirt, rain, slush, the lock drags me down to it’s level, every day, twice every hour. I’m exposed, just the same as it. The door opens and I straighten, nobody nearby. My gloves slip off and are thrown to the table, I’ve lost control to habit and routine. The cap comes off the pen and the tip presses to paper. “2134h. Patrolled, no issues.”
That’s fucking great
Edit this reminds me of years ago, I was very bored working my security job on a plaza, I wrote a log entry is this kind of way. Normal public plaza with metal patio furniture and umbrellas… like an alien landscape
Don’t tell conservatives, they’ll suspect the Jews invented them to like do something or something
They also have several copies of their genome for redundancy.
I had a huge Magnolia tree in my backyard. My backyard is not that big. But after I cut it down, the silence was deafening. It was very sad. The tree was too big for my small yard and it was dropping leaves like crazy. Every other day I had to go pick up like three trash cans of leaves.
poor tree
And they’re spread by forgetful squirrels.
I heard that every five years oak trees produce WAY more acorns so that even if squirrels get them all every year, the fifth year they won’t be able to.
Not to make this sound less cool but you forgot to mention the speed.
That being said, there are some ridiculously fast growing plants on this planet.
You can make a thin layer of anything on anything, not impressive
I see God in it all. I don’t believe all these “hi-tech features” would ever come about with random mutations causing an advantage from time to time. It’s just too awesome imo. Oxygen, beauty, exuberant life, building materials… Water is equally miraculous imo. There’s so much more!
I am simply “representing” my POV. I already know lots of people don’t like anything religious, but if atheists can openly be themselves, doesn’t everybody else have the same right? So, that’s all this is. Just like Richard Dawkins and Keanu Reeves, I’m not interested in debate. I’m just representing.
Cells are basically the self replicating nanobots that sci fi sometimes has as an example of highly advanced technology, but naturally occurring.
R&D life cycle… hundreds of millions of years.
The manufacturer takes a really long time to respond to new feature requests, and most of the support tickets are still open.
Plus major patch releases only seem to happen after major events that make old renditions obsolete, if not downright broken and dismantled.
Although new software does have a ton of useless speghetti code.
Typical enshittification. Brilliant and amazing technology taken over by private equity and run into the ground
Update request? Sorry, best I can do is a new kind of cancer.
There are support tickets? I have a few complaints…
Theoretically you can submit complaints to the lead engineer, but there are very few, very old reports of anyone receiving a response and the sources are somewhat suspect.
“wow, cool. Let’s see how people interact with these magical creatures”
They are mowed down faster than they can regrow and are replaced with asphalt. Oh.
I do live in a bit of a different part of the globe. It is a losing battle here on side of humans. Trees pop up and every year there are less people around.
I like it here, may it make me a hillbilly on a flat ground or not.
Your part of the globe sounds awesome. I suspect it’s close to my part of the globe.
“Burn Them!”
Sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from biology.
It’s astounding how far simple trial and error has brought us. No need for scrum or agile!
And all it took was eons of mass death.
To be fair, it did also take several thousand years to develop instead of a few decades.
It took the Earth almost 1 billion years to come up with photosynthesis 🙃
And another 60 million (the Carboniferous period) to figure out how to break down lignin. Trees were the equivalent of our plastic pollution crises - no way to return the nutrients to the ecosystem or even deal with the mass other than burial or burning - for millions of years.
All fungi today that rot wood descend from just one fungal evolution event, and even today we don’t really understand how they manage to digest the lignin. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/mushroom-evolution-breaks-down-lignin-slows-coal-formation/
I mean, give us a break, if it took 60 million years the last time-
Trees are unbelievably cool. My favorite fact is that the actual living surface of a tree’s roots, called the rhizosphere, consists of extremely small, ephemeral hairlike structures that supply the whole, gigantic tree. The large roots we think of are mainly structural. Where the actual “rubber meets the road” of the life form is incredibly small. Within that rhizosphere the interplay of plant, fungi, bacteria, and soil is so intricate that it’s difficult to even say where the soil ends and the tree begins.
So many amazing things happen in this space. For example, the tree exudes sugars out of the roots because it creates an electrical gradient that pushes nutrients into the root cells. This way the trees, which are masters of energy efficiency, can use passive transport to uptake nutrients. Fungi have adapted to this energy and symbiotically extend the rhizosphere beyond what the tree is capable of alone. In fact an entire world of organisms has evolved inside the rhizosphere. Similar worlds exist in the bark, the cambium, the buds, the leaves, the flower, and the fruit.
It’s like this enormous organism is a fractal masterpiece, and the closer you look the more clever it is. And we all depend on it, because plants are the only organisms capable of turning sunlight into usable energy. Apart from some things living off deep-sea vents, that’s it. Even the energy you’re using to read this right now passed through a chloroplast. It’s just so cool.
Another thing that’s crazy about trees is that there is no such thing as a tree, phylogenetically.
As in: there is no branch on the tree of life for trees. There is no first tree from which all trees are descended. There are trees that have a common ancestor that was definitely not a tree, and there are there are plants that are definitely not trees that are descended from trees.
If you look at the tree of life for plants, you see trees evolving into other types of plants and evolving back into trees all over the place.
Lots of trees can be bushes and do just fine that way if they don’t get big .
oh so it’s just like fish
I feel like it’s time to reframe this from “there is no such thing as a tree”, “there is no such thing as a fish” to “trees and fishes (and crabs) are very competitive types of life, and many phylogenetic lines are pressured towards those traits”.
Biology has gotten real stupid about verbiage and communication lately, in my opinion.
That’s correct and all, but you gotta admit that “everything becomes crab” makes for better memes.
Entropy at its finest
The trees got Rhizz
