Also please reroute the food pipe to not use the air pipe
I want my prehensile tail back, not this vestigial piece of SHIT!
How do you picture it? Like a spider monkey, a fox, or like one of those hippopotamus’s who helicopter chops their shit everywhere?
One sounds useful, one sounds cute, one sounds like your asserting dominance over unexpecting persons waiting in queue
I feel like different races would have different tails based on what’s most useful to their environment.
We need to have some process engineers look at the pregnancy and birthing process, there’s much room for improvement. Maybe take a totally new approach to it, it’s just not it.
The engineer solution: back to egg laying, which also fixes menstruation
Agreed, that shits rough on people. Impacts of teeth and post-partum. Yet a funny thing there is that we can tell you down to the day you were impregnated by the growth of the fetus.
Next person. Sir drink this stuff to make you shit your brains out and I’m going to shove my finger in your ass to see if we can get a scope of what your insides are like.
Just divide at a cellular level, nature has already solved this problem! Upstart life forms these days thinking they can reinvent the wheel.
I would have thought eating and breathing from the same hole would have been in this release 😞 guess I’ll just have to wait till 3.0
Wait, you can’t eat and breathe through the same hole?
Trouble is, you can’t not.
They should be dedicated holes for each process
Humans do bioluminisce, it’s just too weak for human eyes and most detectors.
Thank you, I came here to say the same thing. The problem isn’t that we don’t glow, it’s the fact that our eyes suck.
Don’t we have some of the best eyes in the entire animal kingdom except for birds?
We have blood vessels in front of our visual sensors. Squid and octopuses have better designed eyes.
I don’t know how we compare in visual acuity to them, but they don’t need to fake as much of their visual field as we do
- Suffocation sensation is now tied to a lack of oxygen instead of an abundance of carbon dioxide.
Would that fix our carbonmonoxide weakness?
It wouldn’t make carbon monoxide less poisonous to us, but depending on how sensitive the sensation of suffocation is made it would help us realize something is wrong and maybe even eliminate the need for carbon monoxide detectors.
Carbon monoxide isn’t only dangerous because it’s not oxygen, but because it disrupts our blood’s normal process of absorbing oxygen and expelling carbon dioxide. My laymen understanding is that it sort of jams the door lol. As opposed to things like nitrogen which merely gets in the way but don’t disrupt the process.
Imagine if instead of getting a headache and feeling sleepy when carbon monoxide was in your body you started to feel like you were holding your breath too long.
CO binds to haemoglobin (the oxygen carriers in your blood) just like O^2, but a little stronger. Effectively each molecule of CO puts one haemoglobin out of action, making you less able to transport oxygen out of your lungs
I’d like to request a bug fix: Eyelashes falling into eyeball. Need to fix the physics so they probably spring away or wash out easier.
Maybe just not fall out. Let’s just add a user creetion set-up like a video game. Choose sex, height, weight, legs arms blah blah blah.
Some people would spend 3 hours every morning changing their look, others would always look the same. Some people would be swapping mid activities.
If me in computer games that allow character alteration in game is any guide I would be re-speccing myself daily sometimes until I find a look that’s right then sticking to that for ages
You say that now but wait till you’re sleeping in a tree (to escape the dinosaurs) and start to fall and there’s nothing to wake you! Then you’ll be sorry you wished away that “glitch!”
The difference between your scenario and the glitch is that in the glitch you are in fact not actually falling
I remember a college conversation with a bio major when I said I wished we could just eliminate mosquitos. She said if there were no mosquitoes it would be disastrous because some other thing eats them that gets eaten by some other thing, I don’t remember the details, but essentially it would destroy the whole food chain. I couldn’t help thinking that these bugs etc. would probably eat something else because you know, they would be hungry. Just a couple students with a little bit of knowledge thinking they could conclusively analyze the world. And new here we all are on social media doing the same thing.
There’s not many* types of mosquito that are a problem for humans. If we wiped out the dangerous ones, there would still be plenty of mozzy to go around
*I feel like it’s either 1 or 3
They are forgetting that TERRIBLE design choice where if you accidentally bite the inside of your cheek it swells up making it easier to bite it on accident again and again.
There’s also the weird decision to put a bunch of easily-bruised bones in your butt which would normally be used for a tail.
I once had a creationist defend the coccyx as being necessary for keeping muscles together. That was fun.
You’re just supposed to bite that bit off. Otherwise it’s just going to keep happening.
Instructions unclear, but I can now drink through a straw without opening my mouth
on accident
Rather than by purpose? #54%
I’m a masochist but I have my limits. Lol
I think they’re calling you out on saying “on accident” rather than “by accident”
Are both not acceptable ways of typing that out? I know I’m bad at punctuation, grammar and spelling, but I thought you could say you did something on accident or by accident interchangeably.
Nope, it’s just by accident. Must be a certain demographic that seems to have fallen into the habit of saying it as I never hear people use “on” in real life.
https://www.juliatomiak.com/grammar-check-on-accident-vs-by-accident/
Apparently “on accident” has been gaining usage and “by accident” is generally used by the older generations.
I’m 93 so I don’t know where I picked up “on accident” but until this day I haven’t had anyone say anything. How interesting.
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separated genetalia from waste systems
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removed body hair and baldness
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fixed acne glitch
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added ability to change biological sex, with default neutral configuration
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rerouted laryngeal nerve
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uterus lining is now reabsorbed automatically
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reinforced spine and knees
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simplified foot structure
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adjusted mental pathways to better adapt to modern environment
Remove hangovers
I’d like to be able to alter body hair density based on climate.
added ability to change biological sex
PLEASE
i’m not sure i want to know what the first point would look like, moving either the genitals or the anus sounds horrifying, and i especially don’t want to imagine where penis wielders would urinate or ejaculate from if those functions are separated…
…perhaps we’d do like octopi, reach under and fetch a sperm package that we present instead of a wedding ring? Or maybe let’s just leave it like it is and not create horrors.
Just have us piss from asshole
Birds had it right all along with one waste exit.
I do that already :(
Stop eating whatever is messing with your guts
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Ahem… maybe new players forgot this, but humans have been bioluminescent since the oxygenic respiration patch ages ago.
https://www.sciencealert.com/you-can-t-see-it-but-humans-actually-glow-in-visible-light
I want to know at what wavelengths. Did I miss it?
It bugs me that they say ‘it’s not infrared - it’s photons!’ (paraphrasing).
Its not clear to me either, but since they said visible, my guesses would be 680 nanometers or 490 nanometers, because, well, hydrogen.
The paper (which is very short) said 500-700nm and referenced an older (1997) paper that reported on a bunch of UV and visual emitting living systems. I looked there but didn’t pinpoint an answer. It did mention that the emission doesn’t usually have sharp peaks (as the reason they trade spectral resolution for sensitivity). It seems like the emitting molecules are large, so it’s probably pretty broad.
Anyway… that made me nice and sleepy.
- Eating and breathing pathways no longer intersect. This should prevent the bug when food could block the airway and result in death.
This is actually a result of changes to our larynx and stuff, which allows us to make such a variety of sounds when speaking. In other animals (and human babies), the air and food tubes are physically separated at rest. But in humans, our epiglottis can’t properly keep things separate because our larynx is further down in our throat.
So, I’m gonna have to deny this request on the grounds that it will necessarily break the speech feature, which many of our users depend on heavily.
Wasn’t this a compromise that allows speech? Babies can drink and breathe at the same time.
I remember reading humans can still “breathe” amniotic fluid once they get passed the gag reflex. I remember wondering how someone figured that out… Maybe it’s just a theory
Yeah, it’s crazy to me that people believe we were “intelligently designed” when our food hole and breathing hole are so close that we can only use one at a time, and that our waste dumping grounds are right next to the amusement park.
you mean the slightly more muddy amusment park, that is next to the new, purprose built one, right?
“left user note to pause breathing while swallowing to prevent esophageal trespass when backup breathing interface used for food consumption. No change recommended to emergency breathing access. Closing DOC_UPDATE”
- add pain snooze button
Well if we want to get pedantic, adrenaline exists.
And the button is just more pain.
Not great for long-term use in cases of chronic pain though.
Casually forgot about cancer
That’s going to take some time, it’s a kernel bug.
We’ll start storing 3 or 4 copies of data, since 2 doesn’t seem to be enough. An off-site backup would also be nice. (this will only apply to new cells because see below)
Also let’s add an option to re-enable telomerase. An option, because WE DO NOT BREAK USERSPACE. Some people probably still rely on “dying” behavior.
We’ll start the carcinisation tree in 3.0.
